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© [2017] — Destinations Journal
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“Who I was”

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Who I was when I was FLDS Mormon.
Who I am now and what I have become since I walked away.
I was happy being in my little world because I did not realize what I was missing. I was basically told that I was one of the chosen ones and I was self-righteous and thought I was better than other people. Please forgive me for that. I am happy now and i am enjoying a bigger view and perspective of things, but with that brings a lot more responsibility and drama in your life. When I was a FLDS I guess my biggest concern was basically being saved. So, my days were spent having babies, teaching children, keeping my house perfect and growing roses and pleasing my man. Basically, letting him take responsibility for everything in my life.
I didn’t dream except for the things that I was told to dream about.
Today I do not keep my house as clean and I have just a little bit of time to grow roses because, I am out exploring anything and everything that I possibly can.
I am enjoying new views new people and a new lifestyle.
I am enjoying family that I could not see, people and places that I could not go to.
I am enjoying my own opinions, debating and taking responsibility for it.
Today I dream, I want, I desire, I feel, I love who I choose, not who I’m told to.
It just feels fantastic!
I make mistakes and I have to take responsibility for them instead of letting my husband do that.
I was just submissive and basically the men make most of the decisions.
I always had a hard time with that. Ha ha
Just a few of the things that i couldn’t or shouldn’t do when I was FLDS.
I couldn’t watch TV.
Couldn’t go to movies.
Socialize too much or wear red.
Discouraged to eat white sugar.
I couldn’t wear jewelry or makeup.
We couldn’t cut our hair.
We had to keep it combed and up
the men had to have short hair
long sleeves.
We had to wear homemade Zions dresses.
Long underwear – and so did the men.
We were discouraged to socialize.
We couldn’t go on vacations.
We had to turn all excess money in to the church.
We had to get up at 5 a.m. every morning.
Every Monday morning we had to go to church for class besides Sunday church.
Every day, we were required to read to our children twice a day. We were also required to have prayer every hour, with a little children.
We were discouraged to eat sugar.
We had to keep sweet even when we were mad.
The women were subservient to men.
The men were subservient to priesthood, the church.
We couldn’t watch or read the news.
We couldn’t have worldly friendships.
We couldn’t associate with our family or friends if they were apostates and left the church.
We taught our children homeschooling all day.
Most of the women did not work outside of the home.
We were required to call our husband’s father and our kids children.
Most men were required to have 2 or more wife’s, given to them, even if they didn’t want them.
Absolutely no dating and placement married was required.
Perfect obedience to all the rules were everyone’s goal.
If they did not learn and overcome their weaknesses to them they were threatened eternal death.
Very few were able to go out and get an education and only by permission of the church Authorities.
When you know better you definitely do better![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_separator][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column]
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